Week 10 Power Rankings

Welcome back my friends....to the show that never ends, come inside...oh you know the rest. I do apologize for the lack of blogs lately, but unfortunately I just haven't had the time to write, so I give you the guest writer of the week: Jason 'Mavis' Hanna, owner of this year's expansion (and currently first place) Short Bus Bullies!

Mavis earned his nickname (one of many including: Freshman, Kobe, Subway etc) from a male beauty pageant in high school. Mavis was her name on stage. Winning the swimsuit competition that year, Mavis went on to compete in the transvestite Miss Confused America and modeled for several GLBT magazines, until like so many in his/her profession, he fell victim to bulimia and cocaine abuse.

Now, with his appetite restored, eating two foot long Subway chicken subs per meal, Mavis is becoming the Happy Gilmore of our league. The goofy guy no one took too seriously, but is promising us all that he's going to get Granny's house back with the Vandelay Cup winnings this year. So, without further ado (yeah, that pun was for you Jason), I give you the only man I have ever thrown piss on!

1. The easy pick, short bus bullies, are not going to be our number 1 team, but why? Because the Annandale Pumas are by far the best team right now. That's because of his wicked cast of pro-bowlers who can't seem to do anything but score. After the sad letdown in week 8 against the pound puppies, the Pumas look to run out the rest of the schedule. Thanks in part to the Patriots and Colts race for home field advantage in the playoffs. His stars will continue to shine, and he won't have to lift an eyebrow until after his playoff bye.
2. The Short Bus Bullies limp in to the 2 hole after 3 tough battles in a row, only to see more danger ahead. However, with their recent luck and a very deep roster, they have put themselves into the fight for a coveted playoff bye. The biggest threat until the playoffs is their Cincinnati stock pile of players. Now that some of his key players are out of playoff contention, it's possible they'll let off the gas. That will all of a sudden take the bullies from a front-runner to first round playoff underdogs.
3. Centerville Red Dogs could have easily been your number 2 this week, maybe even number 1. NOPE. While Santonio Holmes looked like Josh at the buffet("All day baby!") or Mavis at the Subway. Willie Parker laid down a dump only fitting for the shit baron (stupid inside joke) costing the Red Dogs the match and the props. The future looks shaky for our resident hero facing quality teams and potential upsets the rest of the year. No matter how it pans out for them, its going to be fun to watch.
4. Three teams have a right to claim this spot. But it goes to only the Annandale Sunshine. Don't be fooled, this is the highest they will be the rest of the year because of the same old song. Just as the clouds were parting, Andre Johnson and the revamped Drew Brees were about to save the day, Shaun Alexander, Derrick Ward, and Donovan McNabb all get hurt or play as bad as if they were. Not good! She's up against the number 1,2,& 3 teams in the league over the next 5 weeks. A big win in one of those games or a big trade, drastically improves her chances to go deep into the playoffs.
5. It's an outrage! It can't be right! The runners are not 4th or 5th! Sixteen in the Clip knew they had a good running back but noone predicted he would be a goldmine. Lets all golf clap for Adrian Peterson, the new NFL single game rushing yardage record holder at 296 yards. As a rookie, unreal, with 2 games over 200 yards, also a record for rookies. Here it is, remember where you heard it, he won't get less than 18 fantasy points for the rest of the year. With a cast and crew of players fighting for real playoff position, big numbers are in the forecast for this sleeper pick to make at least the 2nd round of the playoffs. I know I don't want to face them again.
6. It may not have been easy, but it was necessary. The Rocky Runners are our number 6. Unfortunately, with a record that is currently tied for 2nd, there's a nonstop list of teams that score like they were owned by Bill Belichick. Hines Ward, Tony Gonzalez, and Carson Palmer will have to consistently put of big numbers because the other stars have taken back seats.
• Sammy Morris - hurt
• Bobby Engram= Deion Branch+DJ Hackett
• Chris Chambers goes to new team, and drops to 3rd or 4th option.
• The runners still have a chance to make the second round of the playoffs especially if they make some quick power moves. Such as Cedric"I don't know whats wrong"Benson and injured Sammy Morris and pick up Anthony Gonzalez ( because of Marvin Harrison's long term knee problem) and another prospect that may produce in the playoffs.
7. Black Hand, the question? Why? Let me tell you why Its your Redskin players they are terrible on offense! Keep the tight end and bench El for next years keepers, then dump the other to garbage players. Then go to the waiver wire and pick up Nate Burleson he has emerged into a point producing kick return 3rd option receiver he will put up point with the Seahawks average defense the offense will produce and make the playoffs. Then you also need to pick up a prospect to score NOW you need to put up points these last few weeks to make it to then land of milk and honey. If not, its all good there you can fight for first draft pick to get McFadden.
8. In week 6, The Angry Amish is about to be all but out of this years race, but then out of nowhere lead in scoring by his kicker, upsets one of the best teams to let hope live on. After taking three of the last four the Amish are on the outside looking in staring at two top tier teams in as many weeks. For this to even be possible the Amish need one of those games to stay in the hunt.
9. Good Sport invested into great running backs who ended his season before it even started. Now that LT woke up hes already out of it drop a scrub and grab Mike Vick for next year!
10. Its just wrong! Green Helmets, how do I start?. I took the time to plug his point totals into everyone’s schedule and in some cases he would have 3-4 wins in all cases he had 1 win at least. Their first pick Calvin Johnson was supposed to be the rookie of the year, hurt and hindered; superstar Anquan Boldin hurt and hampered; superstar Steven Jackson hurt and hindered; Vernon Davis also looks to have missed games. Its been one bad beat after another but you have a sick list of keeper players for next year right?!