Week 1 Power Rankings

Where to begin? Only one week into the third chase for the Vandelay Cup and everything is nuts. Brady is done, the Amish are undefeated, cats and dogs are loving each other, a Hokie alum leads the league in receiving....did I mention Brady was hurt?


The trade talks are burning up the internet and the waiver wire is constantly getting scoured as teams are looking to fix the injury bug. The only thing that makes sense is the Black Hand FINALLY admitting that his eldest son is smarter and better looking than him. Anyway, I digress. On to the rankings!





Why Tom Why??

1. Annandale Pumas (1-0) - If you've paid any attention to my rankings in the past, you'll know that I'm a firm believer in the ideal that a champion has to be de-throned to lose the top spot. Even disregarding that theory, it's hard to vote against the Pumas. With players like Peyton Manning, Terell Owens, Randy Moss, Joesph Addai and deals pending to add Plaxico Burress and Ben Rothelisberger to an already stellar lineup the Pumas may be unstoppable this year. Look for them to completely demolish an already stalling SxC this week.
   
2. Centreville Red Dogs (1-0) - Yes, I realize Brady is done for the year. Yes, I know the Dogs just traded off Burress to the strongest team in the league, making them even stronger, but let's look at a couple factors. First, the CRD still put up the most points overall last week without Brady, thanks in a large part to Willie Parker, who looks to have a serious resurgance, scoring 3 rushing TDs last week after only 2 TDs all season in 2007. Yes, they've traded Plaxico, but given the circumstances the deal isn't so bad. They picked up Rivers, a possible keeper for anyone else and Patrick Crayton, who could be poised to have a strong year. Add in a healthy Marvin Harrison, Lee Evans and some strong middle-round talent WRs and the Red Dogs could be strong.
   
3. Short Bus Bullies (1-0) - Never, ever count out the shrewd Bullies when it come to making moves to make their team stronger. The Bullies work the waiver wire like an over agressive poker player and will get the best of the free agents 90% of the time. Throw in a healthy (for now) Donnovan McNabb, Anquan Boldin and Brian Westbrook and the Bullies look ready to make a playoff run for the second year in a row. The only serious concern on this team is a lack of depth in case of injuries and bye weeks.
4. Angry Amish (1-0) - This is the first time the Amish have ever crawled out of the bottom 5 in the power rankings, as a matter of fact, it's the first time the Amish have ever had a winning record, and I don't believe it'll be the last. The mad mennonites multi-talented multitude (it's called alliteration, sexy huh?) of players like Marshawn Lynch, Roy Williams, Clinton Portis and in an interesting twist both Aaron Rodgers AND Brett Farve in conjunction with steady producers like Jeremy Shockey and Donald Driver should be good enough to keep our league's version of AA on the wagon.
5. Green Helmets (1-0) - This could be the Helmets year. Marion Barber should be a top scorer every week, Kellen Winslow could be the most valuable tight end in the league, and Kitna seems like he may throw up more good numbers, even without Mike Martz, and if he doesn't Garrard is a safe fall-back. The one thing this team truly lacks is a standout wide reciever.
6. Annandale Sunshine (0-1) - The best 0 and 1 team in the league, they just barely lost to the Red Dogs in Week 1. With Brees, Reggie Wayne, Andre Johnson, and Jason Witten the Sunshine can put up 100+ any week, but with no depth at WR and not a lot sitting on the waiver wire, the Sunshine will be in trouble is anyone gets hurt.
7. Rocky Runners (0-1) - The Runners could be ranked much higher, but after a disappointing debut for Carson Palmer (-2 points) its hard to justify. Hines Ward looked great, and Brandon Jacobs scored nicely (good job with his slow ass). Throw in the fact that the Runners have a few nice young players in Santonio Holmes and Reggie Bush, along with Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning and we could be looking at a playoff year for the Runners.
8. Black Hand (0-1) - Romo, Chad Johnson, Braylon Edwards, Calvin Johnson, Chris Cooley and the Hand is at 0 and 1? Yes, it's true, but don't count out the Hand just yet. Their depth is poor though as theirs a MAJOR drop off in talent after those 5 players.
9. EZ Like Sunday Morning (0-1) - Gay name? Yes. Good team, still possible. There are many questions on this roster, but running back isn't one of them. With LT and Frank Gore, that's an impressive tandem. Too bad someone forgot this is a WR heavy league. Brandon Marshall wasn't a bad draft choice, but the #1 overall? I don't think so. The lack of WR talent on this team will be it's undoing this year.
10. Sixteen In The Clip (0-1) - Oh how they mighty have fallen. This is the only team in the league I believe is in SERIOUS trouble. They've traded off Ben Rothelisberger for a homer pickup of a rookie who has had ONE good week, lost Marques Colston for the next 4 to 6 weeks (when they had a chance to trade him and Jay Cutler the day before to get Plaxico Burress) and they're starting RODDY WHITE! Yes, they have Steve Smith, but not the good one. The only bright spot left on this team is Adrian Peterson. Maybe they'll trade him off for Schaub so they can be the ultimate homer team with no talent.